Russellville, ARAnother Freakin, Frackin Coffee and Cigarettes All-nighter:
Wednesday, May 20th, 2009
I hate these freakin, frackin coffee and cigarette all-nighters; you know the drill you sleep fine for three or four nights and then flip flop back to sleeping half or all day. If it weren’t for the Internet and expanded basic cable I’d go stark raving nuts, see I dropped all of my digital service because Suddenlink refuse’s to add HERETV. Its one of those all gay channels and Suddenlink uses the really sick excuse there isn’t enough demand for it. I can’t speak with any authority now since I don’t have PPV anymore, but when I did I counted no less than 12 PPV full non-censored adult channels. As for Scifi, well that’s went under the bottom of the barrel with the freakin Star Trek The Next Generation and on Tuesday at nine PM its ECW Raw, now can you imagine wrestling on a freakin Science Fiction channel. Anyway this Thursday night the Scifi channel put on STTNG from 6 Pm until 8 PM, and then it was Serenity until ten PM followed by two more hours of STTNG. I swear if I didn’t have to have the Scifi channel in my expanded basic package, I would drop it all together. I truly believe someone bought out Cox just to keep the gay channels from being added. Suddenlink programming and the shows it’s dumps out have gotten to be so freakin same old re-run and boring that I actually stay on the weather channel 90 percent of the time.
I’ve heard so many people down talk the full view systems, and I have to just sit back and laugh at some of the shear outright ignorant excuses that some have come up with for not having one. I once installed and maintained my own full view system when I lived just inside the Perry county line because the freakin cable company out of Greenbrier told me it wasn’t worth their time to run a cable line out to our house. And for four years I was literally my own cable company and chose what channels I would subscribe to and which ones I didn’t care for, I mean I had access to everything the satellites had to offer, even the adult ones out of Canada. In those days Scifi put on some reasonably good shows. Well I guess it started a fad because I started seeing full view satellites going up all over the place and then the stinking cable company out of Greenbrier came crawling out with their hat in their hand wanting to know if anybody would be willing to pay to have a cable line installed. Well needless to say when they seen all of the content people were getting on their full view systems they backed off in a cold New York minute. I had a lot of satellite installers tell me I couldn’t learn how to do it just by watching them, I used a ten foot dish mounted on an eight foot, 3 inch iron hollow poll buried three feet into the ground with 13 bags of cement and when I moved away four years later it was still pulling them in and going just as strong as the day I installed it. Programming the satellites in was a bit tricky (and even there only a little tricky), the main thing you have to watch out for is not running the damned thing off the of the arm, and if you don’t sit the upper limit (ok you satellite installers will know what I’m talking about) on the receiver it will do just that.
My sleeping cycles here in Arkansas have literally went to outright hell in a hand basket, I swear sometimes I think someone is using some kind of stinking transmitter somewhere that plays merry hell with everybody’s biorhythms. I went to Freds once to buy some Sominex and guess what, the whole shelf was as empty and as bear as Mother Hubbard’s cupboard, sure must be a whole lot of sleepless people in this town. But then what can you expect from a town that’s so stagnated and off the beaten path that not even the damned UFO’s will buzz over it, and most of the really bad weather says well you ain’t even worth it. Yeah I know a whole bunch of you grammar freaks and teachers are cringing and will be quick to point out ain’t isn’t even in the dictionary, but that’s ok because they used to tell me can’t isn’t in the dictionary either but when I really got into using the dictionary I found the word can’t. In fact I found a bunch a words that weren’t supposed to be in the dictionary, but there they were big as you please. Small towns force a stagnated and snails pace down peoples throats whether they want it or not and some towns more than most. Not only that but fatigue and a mere reflection of what life can be like and despair of ever leaving a bad location behind. Some stay in it because they have no money to leave it with, some choose to stay because of what they’ve managed to gain over the years and don’t have any time left to start over some place else where they might be reasonably happy. Some stay because their health doesn’t permit them to leave anymore. And the rest just flat refuse to believe that moving to some other location is going to solve even one of the problems let alone a great deal of them. I’ve had people tell me it’s Demons and if I’d just pray to God and turn away from being gay everything would turn out ok. See they love to bring demons and God and free will in.
Well that brings me to the questions of where was the choice of those babies that get beaten, raped, murdered and thrown into Microwave ovens and where was their Guardian Angels, it does kinda make me wonder if God and the Angels had left the phone off of the hook for them. Then there’s the one’s that try to toss the old guilt trip down on top of you when you talk about wanting to move away or how rotten a location feels, I’m quite sure anyone reading this can come up with at least a few names of some of them. Well guess what that doesn’t do one damned bit of good for those having those feelings nor does it change anything one way or the other and in some cases only makes them worse. I sometimes think that small towns literally cultivate negative feelings, and when I say negative feelings I mean anger, resentment, greed, despair, hopelessness, poverty and all for the sake of feeling like they are indispensable to everybody and have some small amount of power and/or control over people lives. My mom used to say basically the same thing, like some rotten, stinking evil will was drawing some kind of strength because of it.
In this neck of the woods Mormons, all Baptist church people, and especially Jehovah Witness’s, political campaigners and most people don’t even get through my door. They come with squeaky-clean faces and starched white shirts and blacks pants, and some are wearing cheap aftershave that outright makes you want to gag, with big friendly smiles and the innocence of lambs, telling me how much of a stumbling block I am for everybody else, when all they really are is a bunch of ravening wolfs with the same type of dirty minded old thoughts and greed (and some more than others) that I got.
I got a standard letter in a sealed plain white unmarked envelope that I hand out to every one of them that comes to my door, and I always tell em hope your pastor gets to read that. Sure is a far cry from the outgoing happy way I felt when I lived in Louisiana. Ok blooper sharks I went back and proofread again and again and corrected here and there and even added some here and there and as for writing about happy feelings and positive attitudes well people I’d be glad to if there was any to write about. Pulling a sleepless all-nighter simply because of outright sheer stagnated boredom (and knowing how it can be in a different location) is no fun anyway you care to slice it. Reminds me of a Sgt once in Vietnam one of those brits you know, that once gave a pep talk to the company before moving them out on police call (that’s picking up all trash, cigarette buts, paper and what have you in the area) now we may not get it right the first time, and we may not get it right the second time, but we will do it agan and agan and agan until we do it right. I’d rather have one true friend and live in utter isolation than to have a thousand (no make that add your own number) false and fair weather friends.
Its one of the main reasons why I stopped going to the bars even in New Orleans (now be that gay or straight) except for Marti Gras, you got miss “I’m Sooooo Gorgeous” bored to tears Flaming Troll standing over there in the corner watching everything that comes through the door and cloned drugstore cowboys all over the place. And then there’s the bunch that if your not wearing at least a couple of thousand dollars worth of clothes and jewelry and just stepped off the pages of GQ, stick their noses so high in the air that if it was raining they would utterly drown.
During these all-nighters a scripture from the bible will sometimes pop in while I’m writing some this crap down. Last night one popped in and it stayed with me until I finally fell asleep around 5 AM (about the time the stinking Vampires are going into their coffins) and no I can’t even quote verse and chapter nor word for word but some of the disciples wanted to know why the innocent were crushed and killed along with the guilty during the fall of The Tower of Babel and Christ responded with, sometimes bad things happen and it doesn’t mean they are being punished by God or that they were idol worshippers or did anything wrong (or words to that effect).
